Thanksgiving with a side of FORGIVENESS & PATIENCE

1 Thessalonians 5:18 - In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.   

 Through the trials and tribulations of life come bountiful joys and celebrations. As the holidays approach I’m reminded how blessed I am. It sounds so cliché but it’s never been truer than now. This year has given me new life, new beginnings, and more and more chapters to add to my life’s work. There’s been ups and downs – highs and lows but my life is no different than anyone else’s as far as troubled times and hard times. The two lessons I learned this year that made it so I could get to where I am today is FORGIVENESS and PATIENCE. There are many other lessons God taught me…many…but these two simple yet sometimes extremely hard actions are what helped me begin my journey to the top of my mountain.  

FORGIVENESS…there are so many forms of forgiveness that transpired this year. Those who forgave me and those I’ve forgiven. Forgiveness is such an easy word to say “I forgive you”…but I struggled internally on whether I truly forgave that person or if I just said it to come to an end resolution. I realized I was just saying forgiveness and was not showing forgiveness and that ate me up inside. I saw something on Facebook that is so very true about forgiveness aside from the fact God tells us to forgive.  

Forgiveness doesn’t excuse their behavior. Forgiveness prevents their behavior from destroying your heart.   

PATIENCE…the word alone makes me think of taking a deep breath, close my eyes for half a second, and continue on with life. The gift of patience was not one God blessed me with that would come easy. It’s definitely one that I’ve had to work on and struggle with. This year I’ve learned how to balance life being a single mom. Lucky for me God blessed me with an amazing child who truly is one of the easiest going kids I know. He has his moments, as every other child does, when it comes to homework, cleaning his room, doing chores. But hey, I myself have those moments when it comes to house cleaning, laundry, and work. I can’t fault him for being a kid let alone human. It hasn’t been easy but then again life is not easy.  

I AM BLESSED...blessed beyond measure…blessed beyond words. Aside from learning my lessons, juggling life, and finally figuring out who I am – I couldn’t have done this without people who love me, who show forgiveness towards me, & who have patience with me. My parents, my sister, my aunts, my uncles, my cousins, and my close friends. All who have come together in prayer for me and my son. All who have loved me and loved my son. And all who have Christ-like attitudes in all that they say and do.  

Not flesh of my flesh, nor bone of my bone but still miraculously my own. Never forget for a single minute, you didn’t grow under my heart BUT IN IT.   

My parents are a true gift from God and without them I can easily say I wouldn’t be alive today. I tear up now thinking of how much they love me, support me, and have never left my side. They never were ones to ‘baby’ me and my sister through life. They had to watch me fall and they’ve watched me pick myself back up…never leaving my side and never loving me less. I strive to have my father’s patience and my mothers love. In each of them I see my grandparents and now my own son says he sees each of my parents in me. We must be doing something right.    

So I sum this up with a smile on my face knowing and feeling God’s love for me. 

Let your conduct be without covetousness; becontent with such things as you have. For He Himself has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” 

Hebrews 13:5  

Purpose Driven Life

"I know that You can do everything, 

And that no purpose of Yours can be withheld from You."

- Job 42:2

Job openly and honestly faced God and admitted that he was the one who had been foolish. Am I using what I can't understand as an excuse to lack trust? Admit to God that you don't even have enough faith to trust him. True faith begins in such humility.

As I continue into the small stages of my new journey I find myself fighting harder and harder to remind myself and believe that God holds my purpose. Somedays thats all I pray for is that He may reveal my purpose in life aside from being a mother, sister, daughter, friend, etc. I feel strongly that there is something bigger out there for me. I'll admit that somedays I just say the words "trust" whether I believe it or not. In my heart, yes I trust God, in my head I'm struggling. May seem completely backwards to some but I feel my 'conscience' or in other words my 'heart' knows where my trust and beliefs lie and thats in the arms of God. My head somedays struggle with not knowing where things are going in my life. I truly have no complaints as I'm blessed beyond measure. The only unsettling part of my life at this point in time is making sure I put 100% of my trust in God when it comes to my purpose driven life. 

O Lord, I am so humbled by your sacrifice for me. I want to live my life in service to others out of gratitude to you. Thank you for all that you have done for me. 

God's Destiny for a Single Mom

When caught in the storms of life, it is easy to think that God has lost control and that we're in the mercy of the winds of fate. In reality, God is sovereign. He controls the history of the world as well as our personal desitinies. Just as Jesus calmed the waves, he can calm whatever storms you may face.

"Where is your faith" - Luke 8:25

I look back at the direction my life has taken over the past year and still find myself in awe of it all. Before I was a full time wife with a full time job raising my full time son. Now I am a full time single mom with a full time job. I defined myself and who I used to be under two words...I'm a WIFE and a MOM. How quickly things can change.

I don't regret my past. I always say without my past who would I be today? Well...who am I today? Who ever I am I know this much is true:
#1 I love and trust in my God more than ever. He is my rock and my foundation. He is my go to in need, sorrows, and celebrations. Without my God I'd be questioning not only "who I am?" but also "how'd I become so lost?"
#2 I might've lost the title of a 'wife' but I never lost my title as a MOM. Thank heavens for little boys. My son is resilient and amazes me every day. Somedays he is the one who also reminds me that there is more to life than my past. I thank my God for protecting my son and wrapping His loving arms around him during this chapter of our lives. My son deserves the best and I continue to make sure I give him that.
#3 The ones I hold true and near my heart are the ones who have never left my side throughout the good and the bad. My loved ones know me inside and out. They know when I'm happy, when I'm sad, and when I'm angry. Lucky for me my loved ones have never left me and continue to encourage, pray, love, entertain, listen, laugh, cry, etc...all for my sake.
#4 I'm coming out on top. Now that I'm out of my marriage and somewhat of an outsider looking into the past history of my marriage I see now that God has bigger and better plans for me. Not saying my marriage was holding me back from fulfilling Gods plan however it was making me blind to what is truly important.
#5 I have never felt this alive and good about myself in YEARS!!!! I started running again, I've lost weight, I started socializing with friends. This 'rough' patch has truly transformed me into someone who I finally can accept - and thats accepting myself.

I am who I am and if you don't like it...leave...I'll even hold the door open for you. I am no longer holding my head low to the ground worrying about my looks or anything else. I hold my head up HIGH knowing I am loved by God and by my loved ones. I refuse to be knocked down anymore...my life is good. My life is grand. My life...is my life and I owe it all to Him.

God you are good to me and have blessed me beyond measures. I praise you in the storms. I praise you in celebrations. I am beautifully and wonderfully made because You love me. All the glory to you. I give it ALL to you. I ask that you continue to do work in my life and in my sons life. I continue to look to You for guidance. Thank You for always loving me!!     - Me